How Do You Eat Your Oreos?
by Vergess
Summary: For your sanity, don't read it! Someone at the onsen bought Oreos, and The Camera is watching them while they eat, creating indisputable proof that Oreos control all.


Insert mildly evil laugh. Yesss. This is a story based entirely upon Oreos in all their greatness... Though not done under Oreo-influence. Anyway, this is another Adopted-Plot-Bunny thing. Unfortunately, the plot part of the bunny was defective, so it's kinda pointless. Hopefully it's good for a laugh though. Please read the little notes floating around the story about the Oreo-eating styles. Otherwise it will make no sense what so ever. Also, I'm 99 percent sure that you won't see a single bit of in-character-ness in the entire thing! Everyone's OoC. Everyone! "Cept maybe Anna...

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_**How do you eat your Oreo?

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**_

Type 1: The whole thing  
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with his or her children.

* * *

Horo-Horo's Oreos.

'Twas another normal day at the onsen. Anna was bossing, Tamao was being shy, Yoh was lazy, and Horo-horo? He was in dire need of sugar. Large quantities. After all, he would have to clean as soon as he made eye contact with Anna-sama, and he didn't wish to do so tiredly. That could get him 20 laps around the property. So, we find him digging through the kitchen cupboards, looking for cookies. And indeed he found them. Little black and white round ones. Obviously American if the package was any clue. Heh, Americans put so much sugar in their cookies. Immediately he tore up the packaging, and dove into the cookies head first. Eating them whole, sometimes two or three in a single bite! More than once he bit his own fingers too... It was a very disturbing thing for the camera in the corner to capture on film. Wait, camera? What on earth...?

"HORO-HORO-BAKA! GET OUT HERE AND FINISH CLEANING THE POOL, NOW!" yelled out the infamous voice of, you guessed it, Anna-sama. Horo stuffed a few more Oreos into his mouth before running over to the pool, leaving the rest of the cookies on the floor, counter-tops and anywhere else they had landed originally…

* * *

Type 2: Feverous Nibbles.  
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

* * *

Manta's Oreos

Manta was worried again. Anxious, and possibly about to fall into a seizure of nerves, he spied a mass of strange black-and-white cookies lying on the ground. He didn't really have time to be here, let alone eating cookies, but he did want to eat before he went home and got yelled at for being late. So he grabbed a few off the ground, intensely worried about how they might be contaminated by germs. He looked around (Not noticing the camera, which is still hanging in the corner), to make sure no one would catch him wasting his time, and started gnawing on the cookies like a very strange humanoid rat... His size only added to the illusion... Halfway through his second cookie heard footsteps and ran...

* * *

Type 3: Twist it apart, eat the inside, and then toss the cookie.  
You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.

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Ren's Oreo... (A/n: Singular! No "s"! Only one Oreo for Renny!)

Ren walked into the kitchen. He'd thought he'd heard someone eating, but decided not to bother searching for whoever had been in here the moment before. Instead he headed for the fridge to get some milk. There was none. Not even a drop! In fact there wasn't even anything white in the entire fridge. The only white things in the kitchen were the strange cream-disks inside those cookies that someone had insisted on buying... Come to think of it, why were they all over the counter and floor? Probably Horo-baka again, he reasoned. 'Oh well, surely these things can't be too awful' he thought, before deciding he'd only eat the white bit, not the actual cookie. It wasn't like he cared about the cookie; he just wanted something to serve as a replacement for his milk. So, he twisted off the top of the cookie and ate the white disk in its center. Well, it wasn't milk, but it wasn't too bad... Still, he wouldn't be eating them again any time soon. He tossed the two remaining pieces of the cookie into the trash and headed back to the gym to train.

* * *

Type 4: Dunked in some liquid.  
Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

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Yoh's Oreos

Yoh entered the kitchen soon after. If you'd had access to the camera in the corner, you'd know it was exactly 14.5235413 seconds later, but you didn't, and you don't. As he looked around the room, staring at thecookies lying all over the place he sighed, and gathered them up onto a plate. Well, at least the were still edible, always a plus! After all, what good are non-edible cookies? Of course, this odd new snack food would be useless, as far as she was concerned, without a cup of nice hot tea. When he was done brewing his tea, he took the mug and the plate of Oreos to the table and began contentedly dunking them into the steaming liquid, thinking on how great it was now that he didn't have to fight with anyone any more, and he could just lie around doing nothing but be his cheerful old self, at least until responsibilities arose again. But even then he simply smiled and was glad that there were so few responsibilities he had to fulfill. But, his tea was now gone, and he decided to head back outside again, to stare at clouds, leaves and whatever else happened to appear.

* * *

Type 5: Just the cookie, not the inside.  
You enjoy pain.

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Anna's Oreos

Anna came into the kitchen, not noticing that the cookies had obviously been cleaned up and neatly stacked onto a plate, but instead seeing that the crumbs were still covering her kitchen. Needless to say, she wasn't happy. However, she'd be damned if she was going to be cleaning that mess up herself. It simply wasn't happening. Now, who could she get to clean this up who wouldn't complain and would do a good job? Tamao, of course.

"TAMAO! Get into this kitchen and clean up these crumbs, NOW!" she yelled.

Immediately the pink haired girl shuffled into the room and began wiping crumbs off the counter with a rag. Anna pulled a butter knife out of a drawer and sat down to watch the other girl, and eat some Oreos. She gently pried the apart, and promptly scraped off the cream in the center. She had no use for such things as a "Soft, Creamy center". After all, if she didn't have one, why should her cookies? When she had a good stack of cream-less cookies on the table in front of her, she munched on them (Yes, Anna munched! How bizarre is that?), and watched the other girl squirm under her gaze, trying not to make any mistakes. It was so much fun to cause others mental pains. But, eventually she ran out of pre-scraped Oreos, and so she covered the rest in plastic wrap, putting them in the fridge (1), and leaving Tamao to finish the cleaning alone. With the Oreos put away, so ended The Camera's (for indeed it is no longer a camera) purpose.

* * *

Later that night a tall female figure snuck into thekitchen and stoleThe Camera back from the ceiling, along with her Oreos from the fridge. She'd bought them after all, she deserved to have what few were left. Junplanned to keep that tape as proof. It was proof that how you eat those cookies determines you attitude, and so, your life. Not destiny, not fate, it was all due to the Oreos.

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(1)-Does that sound weird? Cause I actually keep my Oreos in the fridge...

A/n: Heh, yes, 'tis all due to Oreos! They are the key to existence! Muaahahahah!

Sphynx: Yeah. Look, she had coffee. As in 80 mg of Caffeine. It's really a dangerous thing to give her. Anyway, she's gone temporarily insane... well, more so than usual. I apologize on her behalf. Oh, and she owns neither Shaman King (TM: Hiroyuki Takei), nor Oreos (TM: Nabisco).

Kayu: REVEEEEIIIW! The Oreos Command you!


End file.
